it's been a while since you've purred this sweet surrender.

although *~*'s anti-nafta agreement has been in effect for a while now, we recently discovered a reason to cross north american boarders (aside from visiting friends on their birthdays and drinking margaritas until the sun don't shine in sexxxico o hai biddies c u in 3 weeks holla @ my gurlz WOT UP!!11!! miss u all KIT). the shameless city of toronto, canada may have redeemed itself with its very own musuem dedicated to....

NARWHALS

yes, yes, yes. OH YES! the narwhal art project is a forum for creative living with pieces inspired *~*exclusively*~* by narwhals. this is so sexy, unfathomable, yet simply beautiful. so those of you mildly allured by the bullshit "visit canada" ads plastered in the media, this should push you over the edge to visit our northern neighbors.

michael jackson: you made heaven a place on earth.

a little late on the goodbye to michael jackson mystery tour, *~* would like to pay homage to the king of pop. all of you in manhattan/five surrounding boroughs/trashy hos from long island can celebrate the life and times of what mj was really about: getting crunk and making mistakes (love you brit brit).

in other words, see you moonwalking on saturday at the pourhouse's michael jackson pub crawl. here you'll be able to relive the magic of his golden years, perhaps drink to the point where you think five nose jobs is a great use of your newly cashed unemployment checks, OR hook up with someone who has experienced the infamous "michael jackson: how to be both black & white" theory (aka c u there eminem).

newayz, neverland has lost a fine talent and the world has lost one of our most curious citizens.

in memoriam: currently wearing, 1 white glove, currently listening, dirty diana, currently feeling, bloated.

the abcs of the land down under.

(for the record: this post was written for my work, hence the capitalization and somewhat repetitive themes from the original *~*)

I have a special place in my heart for Latin America. After spending my first placement learning to speak *~*el espanol*~* (among other things) in Peru, I’ve felt a lingering kinship with the continent. So, when I was told I would be spending two weeks in Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgentina this June I felt the excitement of my second home all coming back to me.

In fifth grade poetic fashion, here’s my dedication to the land of dulce de leche, Che Guevara, and way too many empanadas:

A: for effort

This is the outside of P.A. Argentina. The branding was without a doubt the most impressive I’ve seen (sorry Goring by Sea!), but our design team immediately informed me the text was written in the wrong font. For all offices looking to replicate this P.A. kingdom, please use Trade Gothic and NOT Futura.

R:igorous mate drinking

Mate is a caffeinated beverage that is to Argentine’s what Dunkin’ Donuts iced lattes are to Americans. It’s a culture, perfection, lifestyle, and ultimately the drink of choice in Argentina all day, every day. Although I couldn’t get into the bitter taste regardless of how much diet sugar filled the copa, I did enjoy the communal aspect of sipping on a bombilla while relaxing in las pampas.

G:enerous portions of meat

I heard many rumors about Argentina’s vast meat selection, though nothing could prepare me for an actual meal. Normally a faux-vegetarian, I had to give in to the steak. And the pork. And the chicken. And the blood sausage. And every other type of meat whose names I don’t even remember at this point. Meat, like mate, is a religion in Argentina, so its best to leave your vegan inclinations behind (survey says no one from Williamsburg can travel here).

E:uropean flavor

Strolling down the streets of Cordoba was like being in Paris all over again. Okay, so I wouldn’t go that far, but nonetheless Argentina had a very European style. There were big streets with cobblestone and cafes and tables sprawling onto the streets. Waiters even brought carbonated water with coffee! A little slice of Europe for those of us living in the Western (aka bestern) hemisphere.

N:ight time dining

When it comes to eating dinner in Argentina, all I can say is this: by the time most of us are in bed, they’re starting to cook dinner. Get ready for 11pm meals, y’all.

T:alk Spanish to me

Argentine Spanish is a very curious variation on other versions of the language. Instead of the typical pronunciation of double l’s, y’s, or j’s, Argentine’s use a “jaaaa” sound. This doesn’t translate very well written, but believe me it’s both real and beautiful.

I: (couldn’t think of anything for this, sorry.)

N:o, it’s not summer

Contrary to popular belief, summer does not occur between June-August everywhere in the world (New York City included in that at the moment). While this seems obvious to the well-seasoned traveler, some of us forget small nuances every now and then – no mentioning of names. For the FYI, those of you traveling during the Northern Hemisphere’s summer, it will be winter in Argentina so dress warm.

A:lfajores (pls put photo of me with the alfajor over my eye)

Close your eyes.

No, open them so you can read this.

Picture two layers of cake with dulce de leche in the middle. You shall call this is an alfajor aka perfection. This noteworthy part of Argentina is dedicated to my former fellow Program Advisor Jessye Crowe-Rothstein (we miss you!) who harassed me everyday I was gone about trying them. I’m glad she did.

one-eyed snake

normally, work is pretty boring. although, sometimes you open up a word doc and find this waiting for you, to be translated into many languages.

How would you rate the hardness of your erection?

ERECTION HARDNESS SCALE (EHS)
(Check ONE box)
□ (0) Penis does not enlarge.
□ (1) Penis is larger but not hard.
□ (2) Penis is hard but not hard enough for penetration.
□ (3) Penis is hard enough for penetration but not completely hard.
□ (4) Penis is completely hard and fully rigid.

personally, i'm feeling like a 2.

later in the day i'm scanning a website i like, and see this gem from lewis h.:

Ronald Reagan's robe fell open in front of me and there he was naked as the day he was born.

the end.

bullseye

targeting the UN

wrap me in winehouse wisdom

it's finally happened. the *~*fierce and fabulous*~* AMY WINEHOUSE has been drunk in st. lucia for so long and not exaclty working aka scaring other people on the island, that her peeps really need to make some ca$h off of her name. so since she's not really touring or recording, they're releasing wrapping paper with her song lyrics.


pause for amazement at new low of capitalism.


up first: rehab wrapping paper.
second at bat: back to black and you know i'm no good greeting cards.




wouldn't you want to send your parents a heartfelt gift wrapped in this for their anniversay?

ps.com - amy, we love you. come out with a new album soon.

it's a wonderful wednesday.

per the usual routine, i woke up yesterday morning, turned on my computer, and my servants made me breakfast. as i checked my email i was ever so delighted to see an e-card from the second half of *~* in my inbox. enticed, i clicked the e-love letter and this popped up:


apart from the personal reasons that a one c. mccann would send such a note, this message of brought up frightening memories close to my heart:



while i want you to draw your own conclusions about both the card and video, let me just say this:

a.) writing in caps is a statement
b.) thoth is my husband
c.) there's nothing wrong with believing in either a or b.