notes from the homeland.

traveling well is an art form. determining what kind of traveler you are, choosing where to go, and getting a day-to-day game plan together are all key for a successful trip. with that in mind, my recent sojourn across borders should have been a disaster, but instead proved to be insightful and endearing (and somewhat infuriating) adventure. in what shall be a multi-post exploration of the world's highest ranking place on the human development index and 2007's most peaceful country in the world, i bring you a look at *~*NORWAY*~*

after returning from my birth place (okay one of four), i realized i am a shoestring (aka cheap ass, does not like to spend $$$, frugal, thrifty, annoyling bargain) traveler. with this in mind, going to a place that is on average 30 percent more expensive than the united states proved to be a test of strengths, temper, and tantrums. in honor of $5 cokes and $4 to board a bus, i bring you my top five favorite meals (and their cost):

1.) oslo airport food: first off, if you're coming into oslo from an international flight, EAT UP DUTY FREE. the alcohol is a third of the price from supermarkets and the cocaine is half.

now to my main point, the meal above (a bottle of water, a piece of bread, and jam) will push you back $8. i swear i heard some viking scream at the cash register "welcome to norway, SUCKERS!"

2.) coffee & tea: on average, the cost of a coffee in norway is about $5 and anything beyond cup o' joe will pile on at least two more dolla dolla billz. a personal best was paying $7 for tea, which ended up tasting like shit.

3.) breakfast: okay, so an all you can eat buffet should've cost around $13, but the suckers at the hotel didn't know this gangster from the yay area i sly like a fox so i got that for F-R-E-E. suck it scandinavia!!!!

4.) chain restaurants: like any true romantic, no valentine's day meal should be without feeling like you're about to suffer from explosive diarrhea -- this is why burger king is always a perfect place to take your honey bunny when cupid sings. as pictured here, a chicken burger, whopper, two fries, and two drinks added up to a cool $31. the ketchup was free.

5.) finally, my favorite meal was where it all began: oslo international airport. for 49 norwegian kroner (NOK) [~$8], you can get the following: a baguette, fruit juice, apple, YATZE, a deck of cards, and a pen hollering at oslo!!!! this proved to be a great time until a card game turned nasty, but at least dinner was cheap.

all in all, it's a sad state in the world when one enters a uk supermarket and is relieved to be paying in pounds. none the less, this adventure in cuisine culture shock have left a profound impact and great memories. i still love you, norway.