in honor of international week, (holy shit i can´t find the squigglies on this keyboard) half of *-* (NOT THE SAME) has departed to the lowlands of ARGENTINA. because the fans are demanding a top five, here are my first impressions of this cielo sur la tierra:
men
the argentine population has got to be one of the finest equipped genetic armies on the planet. who are you people and how are you all so fine? dark hair, beautiful eyes, incredible hair, bodies of wild stallions, silky hair, and passionate lovers. i am thinking of converting to mormonism so that when i relocate to this breeding ground of america´s next top modelos i can take many a juan, frederico, and consuelo to my wedding chamber and make them my eternal gods of sexiness. i love you all.
food
i can´t even begin to descibe the pleasures of an argentine meal. as a normal faux-vegertarian, i´ve had to abandon my ideals and succumb to the way of the steak. and the chicken. and the pork. and blood sausage. and the ravoli. and the malbec. and the flan. and the dulce de leche. okay, i´ll stop. i´ll see you in 10 pounds, amigos.
beauty
while this should fall under the category of men, the countryside is also quite notable. there´s beautiful tree lined streets, horses parading around las pampas, and small creeks running through the cities. i have already purchased two stallions to bring home for my budding polo career in the hamptons.
tiger woods
okay, he´s not here, but i´ve been thinking about him a lot. i know he´d love argentina.
fierce bitches
the women here are fierce as fuck. i am extremely jealous of their powerful green eyes and ana fashion statements. if this is the mountains of argentina, i´m scared to see what buenos aires beholds.
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as i enter into the begin at 230 club scene tomorrow, i will keep you posted on how many bottles of wine can be consumed by 8am. chau amores.
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