life below the surface: you are my hell, mta.

the new york city subway is one of the most vile, yet incredible transportation systems in the world. only here will you find the lives of junkies, prudes, didgeridoo players, and the city's men in tight pants coalition colliding.

for the most part anything goes. but people, there are a few rules:

1.) if some1 b preggers to the nth xtreme or with a child, pls let them sit. i know the miniature poodle in your carry on bag is v heavy, but take one for the team. oh, and mens: please tell me chivalry is not dead and give up your seat once in a while to the aforementioned group.

2.) if a geezer loads, stand up.

3.) take advantage of the chocolate bar sales. although the proceeds go to the dime bag fund rather than your local youth basketball league, it's still cheaper than paying at the little stands inside the station.

4.) do not give small change even if someone says they will accept anything. past experience has shown this only ends up back in your face.

5.) do not engage in conversation with someone before 11am. if they are trying to ask you out on a packed train at 8:30 in the morning, bigger issues lie ahead. should they continue to stalk you at your transfer point and say it's coincidental that the two of you are getting off at the same place, pretend to go somewhere else. even if they give a convincing argument about why they want to be a wedding planner.

6.) make friends after 3am. example below:



7.) throw your shit in the trash, not the train.

99.) stand clear of the closing doors please!