the perils of pizza

we should've known something bad was coming when we went to go to a store and the sky opened up upon us and we saw a girl with a huge pizza tattoo on her arm. how could we have ignored these ominous signs of what was to come?

a quartet out in billyburg, we were just searching for some pizza. little did we know that when we entered the pizza place (which shall remain nameless for legal purposes) we would be in "the most illegal" situation we've ever been in as one observer described.

the man working behind the counter, let's call him vinnie(?) served us a piece of pizza. here is what he did in the next 10 minutes in the restaurant (while there were customers and the door was open):

1 cigarette was smoked
1 beer was drunk
1 girl was hit on many times
1 date was offered (only food and wine, no extras)
1 joint was smoked
1 wad of cash was fanned multiple times
1 obnoxious laugh and pound were given to cronies
1 bet was made on random numbers given by us
1 father was insulted, 1 ex-wife was insulted
1 phone call was ignored
1 bag of cocaine was pulled out and snorted off 1 paper plate with 1 plastic straw

every bad stereotype was fulfilled.

i can only hope for this man that 1 continues to be his lucky number, perhaps in his jail cell.