third time's a charm: (mAD men)

i just realized we have hardly discussed one of my obsessions, mad men. basically the best show on tv and my daily inspiration to stay fabulous.

the moment we've all been waiting for has arrived: tonight is the premiere of season 3! set in 60's nyc, mad men does everything right- acting, wardrobe, nostalgia, product placement, humor, ferocity.

it may be called mad men, but i'm normally more taken with the women. these beasts do not get any fiercer. if only i could time travel...



ps- if you're in the new york area and not having your own party (which you're obvi not cause i wasn't invited), they are playing it in times square. if you're even cooler, head down to the roosevelt hotel for a cocktail premiere party/60s costume contest for the best "skirt and suit."

feminism our moms could be proud of

the other day i received a post card in the mail from my alma mater (all girl's catholic high school) asking me to call a toll free number to update my contact info. sure, why not?

a nice man picked up and told me all about this alumni book coming out and proceeded to ask about my upated contact info, address, job, etc. then this:

him: oh, i see you've been out for about 6 years now.

me: oh wow, that seems like a long time.

him: so, have you changed your name? what are your husband and children's names?

me: oof, don't have any of those.

him: oh, i see.

what i SHOULD'VE said: my husband's name is prince william and i am now the duchess of wales. my children's names are maddox, shiloh, bronx, suri and apple.

listen, i got a great education from a school that touted itself as a place for girls to become independent, intelligent women. apparently in this man's eyes i am considered a FAIL because unlike a nice portion of my classmates i am not married and knocked up by one year after college.

apparently all that bra burning of my mother's generation didn't really work. instead, we have the horrors of promise rings (ugh) and 16 & pregnant, which has made some TPT into pseudo-reality-celebutards. (at least the one named catelynn (not the traditional gaelic spelling) had the sense to give hers up for adoption.)

i guess they got the last laugh though, he conned me into donating $70.
but it's all good, i'll take abother $70 and buy myself some champagne in celebration of the fact that i'm not pregnant!

spam: the ways it can get you going.

with the recent phenomenon of e-mail, we have all fallen victim to spam. mostly annoying, sometimes spam mails can turn out to be a wonderful distraction that get you think hard about a variety of topics. here we decide whether spam really does have some validity or if simply is all bullshit:

case 1:

Even the shyest girls like it thick and long.

answer: FALSE. men, you are also expected to groom down there so please don't think it's okay to just let yourself go.

case 2:

one wife is not enough

answer: TRUE. if you think otherwise, clearly the magic of "big love" has not come to your cable provider.

case 3:

do you want to be the only lover for your wife?

answer: men, this will NEVER be possible. we will always picture shaquil o'neal during moments of high sexual passion. always.

case 4:

Muddy pawprint indicates dog shot and killed his owner

answer: obvilicious.

case 5:

Your life sucks, use our 55% OFF on all our products

answer: TRUE. your life probably does suck, though 55 percent off all their products isn't going to help (oof unless this is an ad for anthropologie, in which case your life probably will get better/you will still be impoverished).

case 6:

It is not necessary to be ashamed of yourself

answer: FALSE.

case 7:

Women like when they are surrendered by a man with big member.

answer: mostly TRUE.

case 8:

Women always accept invitations to bed from hung men.

answer: for me, this is ALWAYS TRUE. different strokes for different folks, so we can't give a generalization here.

case 9:

Women are staring at you because they know what power you've got.

answer: FALSE. they're normally contemplating how to get you to buy them a drink and which one of your friends is more attractive.

case 10:

Even if you are a cleaning-lady you can afford a Submariner SS watch.

answer: I'M NOT SURE. what's a submariner ss watch?

panic in central park.

some of you may remember the man of my dreams from this video. handsome, brilliant, sleek, musical, ambitious, loving, hardened, indulgent, tireless, reckless, and free are all words that can describe THOTH.

my friends, on july 13th that sense of freedom was taken away from us.



yes, it's true, thoth was arrested in central park for a public disturbance. a statement released by thoth illustrates his pain and how senseless this is:

"Today, I had my feelings hurt, because as much love and goodness as I have given to the park (the many uncounted times I have cleaned up dog poop in the tunnel while cleaning men passed by), they still do not respect the gift of my being there. How could they sanction the arrest of me and Pink Angel? We still have the handcuff burns on our wrists. Who are the real BUMS? "

for any of you who want to join, we will be attending the public hearing for thoth's immediate right to return to performing in the park.

amen.

barackin obamacake

sorry our posts have been so infrequent, happy august!

we've just been so busy shooting hoops with obama at camp david to celebrate his b-day yesterday. feliz cumples o-town!

we even made him this cake to show our love.
thoughts?

also, just in case you want to keep up with mr. jetset amerika, you can check out his official flickr photostream (michelle and her guns sometimes featured as well).

viva las vegas

as you may or may not already know or be jealous of, i recently returned from a 4 day all you can drink stint in las vegas. i'd like to share a few of those moments with all of you. even though i'm not the vegas type at all, after having been there, i feel like vegas could potentially be for anyone for 4 days.

top 10 memories of a girls' weekend in the desert:

1. all you can drink complimentary champagne as long as you sit by a slot machine or table
2. wearing my prom dress out on the town like it was any other day
3. wearing said prom dress with friends also dressed like hoochies (the classiest ones!) and learning to play craps with lots of men in the middle of the night and making friends with the dealers and rolling the dice while getting called shooter and winning $200 (way to go annie!)
4. spending 2 days at a very expensive spa - totes worth it
5. running around said spa naked and free since it is *~*ladies only*~*
6. watching naked french canadians fulfill all of our wildest festishes in zumanity
7. a 4-foot long hot pink inflatable penis
8. taking said penis into our bubble bath party in a ridiculously large bathtub (while drinking out of penis straws, obvi)
9. getting $200 comped to our rooms when our sassy accountant complained several times that the rooms were dirty (age, you are my heroine)
10. laughing hysterically for 4 days, making fun of everything/everyone, feeling like we were in high school again (in the good way)

i think this photo encapsulates the sentiment of the trip...

o hai movie: (500) days of summer.

so the movie i've been waiting to see for six months finally arrived on the streets of new york july 17th: "(500) days of summer." after two viewings and constantly listening to the soundtrack (shout out to the smiths all over that bad boy <3 u 4e morrissey) (500) proved to be worth 180 days of waiting.

not to spoil the film, but the leading characters don't end up together. oof, 'tis a shame for tom (jospeh gordon-levitt) because summer (zooey deschanel) is a fox with fierce street style. newayz, the fact that they split is totes obvilicious -- isn't that the story of 99.9 percent of relationships? for this reason, the movie in many ways isn't about their break up, but rather the reckless road of heartbreak that results in a more mature understanding of love.

i guess i particularly love this film because it doesn't pretend to answer questions that often don't have explanations. why do we meet certain people? why do we fall in and out of love with them? why are we vulnerable in some relationships and throw up walls in other? how can you love and still be unsure? and why is it that when you know, you just know? not to get all "deep thoughts with jack handy" on you, it's simply that the (500) poses a lot of questions about fate, coincidence, indecision, expectation, and certainty in feeling that many movies about relationships don't push. on top of that, it's beautifully filmed + has a post-"i just got.it.ON" dance sequence for the ages.

without saying more, "(500) days of summer" is certainly worth the $12.50 ticket (or whatever cheap ass price all you non-new yorkers are paying). for those of you who can relate to the characters you probably won't find any clarity in the story considering relationships and breakups always fall into a messy gray area. perhaps that's why this movie works so well -- it's about how we get to where we need to be rather than how we neatly end up.